sickidivall's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brutus and his bros had it

I have been thinking about "ambition" a lot lately and what it really is. At first I thought it was some far off thing like "et tu brute?" But is this the thing that pushes me to constantly improve and do better.... to not stay stagnant. That pushes me to try and either suceed and keep trying or fail and then try again? I dont know if this is ambition. Is it the driving force when I recieve a compliment that I dont agree with(do I ever agree?) to change and improve that thing... maybe never feeling like I am adequite at one thing . Is it ambition that makes me so pessimistic at myself even though I know I am trying my hardest? Is it what makes me feel almost guilty if I am not doing my best at something?
I do not think this is a bad thing. I dont know if it is because I want to know that I am in control or is it ambition or is it pride that makes me think that I can be better than i already am?
I cant really tell. I just know that if I do stop it will go backwards.
There will be more to come on this topic.

8:25 a.m. - Saturday, Nov. 20, 2004

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next